1983 wasn’t a good year for St. Bernard sales. Before then, sure! Giant, furry dogs saving you from avalanches and snow storms with a nice barrel of (hopefully) bourbon around their neck to keep you warm? But that was all before Cujo…

Originally crafted by the evil genius that is Stephen King Cujo told the story of a beloved pet St. Bernard who unfortunately gets bitten by a rabid bat… Things really start to go downhill from there. In 1983 Lewis Teague got the bright idea that, “Hey! Let’s terrorize dog-lovers and small children everywhere! St. Bernards, be damned! I’m ruining their image for all time!” And that he did.

Dee Wallace was the lucky one who got to star in the film that involved her and her young son being trapped in a broken down car for the entire length of the movie. (Save on production costs? CHECK.) Outside, the rabid beast attempted every possible way to break into the car and devour its inhabitants. Now, we know what you’re thinking. It’s either a) Man, this flick sounds boooo-RING or b) This doesn’t scary at all!! IT’S A DOG!

To a) we reply, au contraire, mon freir. While you’re not getting much in the way of excellent filmography, you’re making up for it with suspense because IS THE DOG GOING TO EAT THEM?! IS THE LITTLE BOY GOING TO DIE OF DEHYDRATION?! When it comes to b) we get it. You’re right. A rabid dog doesn’t sound all that terrifying… but imagine if YOU were stuck in a car with a 200lb beast with razor sharp incisors gnashing at you on the other side of just a single pane of glass… Now try and tell us that you wouldn’t be scared.

Eventually St. Bernard sales went back up (we’re assuming… we couldn’t really find any statistics on that but it seems logical) and everyone went back to seeing them as rescuers and not vicious child eaters… (Which in case you’re wondering [SPOILER] the kid lives in the movie… In the book? He’s not so fortunate… RIP Tad.)

But the next time we bet you’re a little more hesitant about petting your friendly neighborhood St. Bernard.

We ♥ Cujo.


~ by weheart80s on October 24, 2011.

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