“Douglas Coughlin, Logical Negativist. Flourished in the last part of the 20th Century. Propounded a set of laws the world generally ignores, to its detriment.”

Back before Tom Cruise hung from the ceiling in Mission Impossible and after his stint downing MIGs in Top Gun, he made bartenders all over the world think, “If I can master throwing bottles around in fancy ways, I too can become the owner of a bar. And women will fawn all over me. And I will rule the world!”

“Coughlin’s law: Never tell tales about a woman, she’ll hear you no matter how far away she is.”

Okay, maybe their thoughts weren’t that extreme, but if there was ever a movie to glamorize the life of bartending, Cocktail is it.

“Coughlin’s Law: Anything else is always something better.”

In our favorite decade, years before Red Bull and Monster-infused shots starting popping up, all you needed was a little fancy hand-work to boost you to the top of the bartending popularity ladder. Or at least, that’s how it all played out for Brian Flanagan (Cruise) in Cocktail. We won’t recap the entire movie here, because all you really need to know is that, on the outside, Cocktail seemed like a fun, light-hearted movie about tossing shakers in the air and dancing to The Beach Boys'”Kokomo”. In reality, it took a dark turn and ended with poor Coughlin slashing his throat with a very expensive, broken bottle of alcohol.

“Coughlin’s law: Never show surprise, never lose your cool.”

(We know, right?)

“Coughlin’s Law: Bury the dead, they stink up the place.”

However, that didn’t stop people from all over the world chasing the “Cocktails and Dreams” dream. And it also didn’t stop people from going to see Cocktail in the theaters. It pulled in more than $75 million and finished 1988 as the #9 flick (one ahead of Beetlejuice, which we just professed our love for last week). Sure it currently holds a 5% rating at Rotten Tomatoes, and sure it won the Golden Raspberries for Worst Picture and Worst Screenplay, but come on… it’s Tom Cruise. Slinging drinks. In the 80s.

“Couglin’s diet: Cocktails and dreams.”

And hey…passing up your chance to get a business degree to instead make a couple margaritas for the local hotties might not seem like the best career move, but we can’t help but love every bit of Flanagan’s story.

We ♥ Cocktail.


~ by weheart80s on May 15, 2017.

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